Saturday, August 13, 2011

Permission Granted

I am currently in Victoria, BC spending some time with a few of my best friends. It is absolutely beautiful here and the Lord has been refreshing my spirit to the core. However, being here seeing all of this beauty causes me to think how nice it would be to share this with that "someone special." You know what I mean. So this was a journal entry I wrote a few days ago on my first night in Canada.

As I sat here on the back patio overlooking the beautiful lake and listening to the soothing sound of the piano being played just inside the house, I started having thoughts of my future husband and how badly I desire to meet him. I was thinking to myself, what in that moment made me have that thought and desire? Was there a shallow and somewhat unnecessary desire within me? No, that was not it.
 I simply wanted someone to share it with. Someone to sit next to and lay my head against his shoulder while we talked about how incredible our Father God is for making something so wonderful. What I wanted was the permission, the invitation really, to put my head on someone's shoulder and experience such a moment together. As women I think the key to those moments is that we want to feel the permission from a man to be close and affectionate (and I mean this in the purest way possible).

Then I thought of Jesus, and how I have never had to ask his permission to be intimate with him, because He constantly desires to be affectionate and close. He is constantly asking and pursuing me to be near, to look at the beauty around me and talk about how awesome our Father God is for creating such splendor. His permission is undeniable, unchanging, and always present. He is there waiting for me to accept His invitation. I am so in love with this Man. Listen ladies to His voice of romance, and continue with me as we become beloved.


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Sneak Peek : The Vows

Most of you know I am taking some time off for a short season and working on finishing my book Love Stories with My Beloved. So here is the promised sneak peek. It is very short! But it is one of my favorite moments so far in this writing process. It is taken from the section of a wedding scene in the book where the verbal commitment is being made. Check it out.

I remember my father giving a charge to my love. This is the most significant moment throughout this whole service. He told him “You are to care for her more than you care for yourself. You will sacrifice everything you have, just so she can wake up and have one more day to my daughter, to be your wife, to be the woman I have desired for her to be. You are provide for her, to meet her needs. There are times she will run, there are times she will hurt you, there are times she will not want to be with you. Love her anyway. You will love her with a perfect love, yet she will often forget it. You will often protect her when she does not realize she even needs protected. You will pursue her for the rest of her days. You are to die for her every day so that she may live.”
Not fully able to comprehend everything my father just said, I stand there in awe. Without hesitation, my Love says “With pleasure.”
Now it was my turn. My father turns to me. Within my father’s gaze I see joy, peace, complete confidence in my decision. With a loving voice he tells me, “You my daughter, honor him. You will be cared for, provided for, unalterably loved. You will often run from this, but your Love will always remain, waiting for your return, ready to forgive. You will be protected, desired, found worthy, and pursued all the days of your life. You need only say, ‘I do.’”
And because of my father’s confidence and the man standing before me, I am able and more than willing to give my answer... “I do.”

Thursday, May 19, 2011

He's No One Night Stand

So I know some of you are in shock reading the title of the post but just calm down a minute and read the post. For all of you radical worshipers like myself I think you find this post rather refreshing and encouraging. Enjoy!

Every time I am at nights of worship I am so blessed by seeing God's bride sing love songs to him. He is so worthy of our praise. In fact I am often so touched by others worship it encourages me to worship him more. I begin to feel excited, joyful, complete, satisfied, etc. One night in particular as I was standing in a room full of people worshiping and singing our hearts to the Lord something began to stir in me. I remember the Lord trying to tell me something, but I was so busy worshiping I didn't stop to listen. (I know the irony in that is enough for another post all together.)

So as I was leaving to drive home after the night was over, I was feeling so happy. Like that great high after a really awesome day. Then I remember the Lord speaking so clearly to me. He said, "Jennifer, I am NOT a one stand." "Excuse me," I thought, "What did you say?" He began to show me that so often we can get so caught up in certain moments with the Lord and the feelings those moments bring, we can easily forget the relationship He offers.

Jesus began to reveal to me that worship to him was not a cheap, dirty, and scandalous time. It was a sweet, romantic time that came at a VERY high price. Worship to him is not the time we go to get a cheap fix of joy from the Lord or get ourselves some happy feelings to go off of for the week. Worship is about preparation of the heart. It is like going on the best, most perfect first date imaginable as many times as you want to and then realizing the date NEVER has to end. It is a pure sacred time where we are given the ability to somehow portray to our love, Jesus, the gratitude in our hearts for the price of his LIFE. So next time you are worshiping let that thought come to you, worship doesn't end, it's a preparation of the heart to walk in the most beautiful love story ever written. Allow Him to pursue you as you pour your heart out to him, and watch as He continues to show you how to Become Beloved.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Keepin It Real... Real Personal Pt 2

Okay let me just start by saying if you haven't read Keepin It Real Pt 1, please go back and read it first, or if you just need a quick refresher. Otherwise, this post will not really make sense. I am just going to pick it up where I left off.

I ended the last blog talking about God's specific pursuit of us. I mentioned how our Love is not just a general pursuer of us, but identifies areas of our lives where He desires us to grow in and then pursues us to fulfill them. Let me give you an example:

For years I have been putting a certain amount of money in a savings account. Nothing astronomical, but just a little here and there to help during the first few months after I graduated college. Then once I graduated from college, I started really needing  that money. However, at the same time I REALLY heard the Lord telling me I needed to learn to be a better giver. I started asking Him what am I supposed to give, Lord, I'm broke....Then He pointed to the savings. You can imagine the argument that went on. I just kept asking, "Are you sure Lord," He kept asking, "Do you trust me Jenn."
WOW. That was a huge question... do I trust him. When I finally decided I had no reason BUT to trust him, I asked him one more thing. I said to him God if you are going to call me to be an extravagant giver I need to know that you are going to provide for me. You see I wasn't giving the Lord an ultimatum,"You must tell me Lord or else." Haha Yea right. I just know that my Love desires to hear me speak to him, to ask him questions, to lean on him for my help and comfort. So I did. I talked it out with him. I told him I really did trust him, but there was still a little fear in me. Most of this conversation with the Lord actually happened in one day, and during that day I told no one about this hard decision I was making.  After I had literally cried all my tears and sat in wonderment of the Lord, a sweet friend of mine, who knew NOTHING of this situation called me. They told me not to leave my apartment, they were coming over. About 15 minutes later she knocked on my door, came in and after a few minutes handed me something. She handed me a wad of bills that was the exact amount of a bill that was due that week.

You see God knew my heart was for Him, he knew I desired to be an obedient trusting daughter, but He also forgave my unbelief before I even knew I had it and pursued me to my trust. He showed me He would provide for all of my needs and that learning to be a giver was more for my benefit than any one elses. You see he pursued me to my gifting, he pursued me to my level of ability to trust, he pursued me to my obedience. He is so good. His desire is for me. He won't just call his beloved to something. If you open your eyes you will realize He pursues His beloved to each thing he calls her to.

What is He pursuing you to today? His desire is for you. Will you follow is specific lead and allow him to pursue you to the great things he has for you? Follow Him as you pursues you to Become Beloved.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Keepin It Real... Real Personal Pt 1

So I decided to mix things up a bit in this post. I am just going to keep it real with you. Things had been a little difficult with me and the man the last few weeks. However, he is so faithful. Let me tell you just how wonderful this man of mine is.

You see I have been struggling in certain areas of our relationship. For example, turst, obedience to his wise counsel, and several others things have been some of the rough spots lately. Again, he is so faithful. You see for so long I have known that he has been pursuing me from the very beginning.

God gave me the heart for this ministry a couple of years ago and since then Jesus has been showing me what it looks like to be his bride and to walk in an intimate relationship with him. He has also shown me how he has been pursuing me my whole life. He is so faithful in his pursuit of me. Always reminding me of his love and devotion to me. However it wasn't until a few days ago that he has shown me he has been pursuing me so specifically. 

You see because of the stubborness (mentioned above) in our relationship, completely on my end of course, I find myself so easily frustrated. Here I am in this perfect relationship yet I can become so overwhelmed and frustrated with certain situations. Basically my flesh and emotions take over and then the enemy comes in and feasts on this. He adds fuel to the fire.*(See note)  So after I snap out of the funk I am left looking to Jesus, my Love and asking for his help to heal my hurt (broken, confused, bitter-whatever you feel insert here) heart. Then out his faithfulness and never ending supply of grace and pursues me back to his heart.
 *The only reason the enemy comes into our lives (if you are a believer is because we allow him the ground. If you do find yourself struggling in your flesh and emotion and feel the enemy starting to come in, you need to identity the door to sin that you left open and shut it. Repent. He will forgive. And SLAM the door shut, and then tell the enemy to leave you and your life. For any further questions on this please email me.

So this just recently, and by recently I mean like a week ago, happened to me. I had been in a state where I was just hurt and a little broken. So I went to my best friend and told her everything I was feeling and then a day later I find her praying over me for freedom from the lies of the enemy. That's a long story in and of itself but what you need to know is that during this time, I really felt the Holy Spirit come over me and speak two things.

The first he showed me that Jesus is not just a general pursuer. He does not only just pursue me in our general relationship, but he pursues me to do the things he knows will benefit me. You see as girls we don't want to be in a relationship with a guy who literally walks two steps ahead of us with his back turned to us saying follow me. We desire someone who walks with us, with his hand on our back. A man who knows the way and has mapped it out for our safety, but that walks with us, maybe a step ahead but facing us with his arms outstretched saying come with me. You see when your are led and pursued you get the best of both. When you are pursued you are sought after, desired. When you are led, there is a plan, someone has taken the time to plan the perfect path. You see Jesus not only leads, he leads with pursuit....

Now there is much more to this but I know it is already long. So if you made it to the end please be sure to let me know your thoughts so far. I will be posting Part 2 soon!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Daydreamer, My Rescuer

So if you (ladies) were to be honest right now, how many of you have at some point had a daydream of being in distress and having the man of your dreams come in and save the day? Yes? Well as I am sure 99.99% answered the same, here is a little preview into the recent daydream of mine.

The other day I was hiking through some hills and spending the morning in the wilderness with my love. I loved being out in nature with just Jesus and myself. Breathing in the crisp cool air as it swept off the recently turned golden leaves. There was a sweet silent breeze dancing across the hills and a still calm voice speaking through the wind to my heart. It was a precious time with me and my love.

Then a few days after that it was time for me to drive home for Thanksgiving, and it was there in my car on the drive home that this daydream began to play itself out in my little head:

I was back in the hills on a mission. I wasn't really sure what for, but I knew I had a destination a purpose for my hike. It might have been just to find a unique place to sit and think, or that I was actually going somewhere specific. The key is I was there in the hills enjoying and exploring the beautiful creation around me. However, as this hike progressed I somehow came across a really rough spot. I don't know how it happened but there I was in the midst of rocks with absolutely no sturdy place to put my foot. I seemed to be stuck, and it was then that I realized I wasn't alone.... As I look next to me there is a snake, even though I don't know a lot about snakes, I somehow knew this was a very bad snake and that if I just didn't move it would leave.

However, if I didn't move I would be stuck there forever it seemed so trying to very calmly find a place to take a step away from it, I slowly moved my foot. It was in that moment the snake must have felt I had become a threat to it and did what I had been praying it would not do. It strikes and an extreme pain begins shooting through my leg. I fall to the ground and began holding tightly to my wound. As the poison from the bite begins seeping through my veins, I begin to look around. I look for a way out, something. I am desperate.

Well in that next moment I look up and there it is, my relief. It's him. You know him, the dreamy perfect man of your dreams. :) Yes you know him. Here he comes and in one swoop he picks me up and carries me back to safety where he knows just what to do for the poison. He knows just what to say to calm my anxious and discouraged heart.......oh my sweet, sweet rescuer.

Well ladies, I don't know about you, but that just put a smile on my face. You know for about five seconds I got to enjoy that moment.... then the Lord (as He usually does) comes in brings me back to reality. HIS reality, and his reality is this: The story is completely true. There is journey, I have a destiny and it is meant to be enjoyed. However, there are rough spots and unfortunately there is an enemy. And when that enemy sees me taking a step toward freedom I become his biggest threat. He will strike and sometimes he will hit. BUT most importantly to remember is there is a rescuer, there is the perfect man of my dreams. He is not some worldly man with limited knowledge, medicine and resources. He is the MAN of ALL men. He is limitation of knowledge and resources, and HE speaks the best words of love and encouragement that anyone could dream of. He is my sweet, sweet rescuer, asking me and you today would you become his beloved.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Way He Holds My Hand

This is what my beloved spoke to me...

Take hold my love. Feel the way your heart flutters when I grab your hand...guess what, my heart does the same. If only you could see the smile that comes across your face when I whisper into your ear, "Come away my love." Oh that smile, it is the joy of my heart.
My beloved, I love to lead you. I love to grab your hand and lead into the beautiful places. I love to be your protector. When your enemies come against you, my defenses go up. Nothing will harm you my love, because I have set my best guards on all sides of us. Our relationship is stronger than any force the world could throw our direction.
When you worry, my love, my heart aches. I wish you knew how much I desire to lavish you with blessings. All the desires of your heart, those are mine too. You are my beloved, and I am yours.
Come with me, my love, let me tell you a story.

"There was once a prince who was married to the most beautiful princess. They were on a journey, to the kingdom, to dwell in the most beautiful and extravagant castle in all the land. However, in order to get to this castle, they had to pass through the enchanted forest. In this forest were so many dark places, unfamiliar and foreign places. So often the princess would get so focused on those dark places, she would forget the hand she held. Fear and doubt would overwhelm her, but then as soon as she felt she was being overcome, the prince would squeeze the princess' hand. With the squeeze of his hand she would turn her head to look to him and all her fears were gone, because she was holding the hand of the prince. It was then when she took her eyes off the dark, she could see the beautiful places he was trying to lead her. Who would have known there were beautiful waterfalls, gardens, rivers with lush greenery flowing along the most magnificent mountains, here on this journey. It was as if the dark places of the enchanted forest turned into open spaces of beautiful freedom when she gazed into her prince's eyes. You see it was here that the prince was able to show the princess how wonderful the journey was to the kingdom when she kept her gaze upon him...."

You see my love, this story, well... it's you and me love. I am the prince and you are my beautiful princess. My love, I am leading you to the most wonderful castle you could ever imagine. So please come with me love, come away with me. Let me lead you to the happily ever after... It will come, I promise, it is coming. But until then, come with me, hold my hand, and become my beloved.